1
00:00:03,404 --> 00:00:06,605
And I get
two triple word scores.
2
00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:09,041
"Quidnunc?"
3
00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:12,244
[together]
Challenge!
4
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:13,946
You've never heard quidnunc?
5
00:00:13,948 --> 00:00:16,815
- It's probably Melmacian.
- So?
6
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:19,385
Well, you can't use
Melmacian words, ALF.
7
00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:22,054
- It's here.
- You're kidding.
8
00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:23,522
"Quidnunc..
9
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:25,691
...one who enjoys gossip."
10
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:29,995
Really? On Melmac,
it means one who wears meat.
11
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,966
Two hundred
and forty-eight points.
12
00:00:33,968 --> 00:00:36,001
And it's my turn again.
13
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:41,807
(Brian)
'"Quidnuncle?"'
14
00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:43,742
It's a relative who wears meat.
15
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:46,011
[together]
Challenge!
16
00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:48,480
Rats.
17
00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:50,516
Brian, your hamster
flew the coop again.
18
00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:52,518
He's sleeping
in my left Reebok.
19
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,586
I'll get him.
20
00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:56,655
[car horn honking]
21
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,457
- Have fun, everyone.
- 'Bye.'
22
00:00:58,459 --> 00:01:00,159
Where are you going?
23
00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:01,360
Out.
24
00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:03,829
Out where? And with who?
25
00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:05,264
ALF.
26
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:07,032
What kind of parents are you?
27
00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:09,701
The kind who trust
our 18-year-old daughter.
28
00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:11,236
Besides, we know
where she's going.
29
00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:12,771
She's going to the movies,
right, honey?
30
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:14,406
- Right.
- What're you gonna see?
31
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:15,874
"Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"
32
00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:18,977
"Unbearable Lightness of Being."
33
00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:22,247
Then you're gonna, uh, probably
stop off for pizza, huh?
34
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,882
Sushi.
35
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:27,252
Well, say hello
to Julie for us.
36
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,587
Eddie.
37
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,156
Happy now, ALF? Who's Eddie?
38
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:35,060
Have we met Eddie?
39
00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:36,128
Well, no, of course not.
40
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:37,863
I mean, this is only
our second date
41
00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:39,965
if you could even call it
a date, which I wouldn't--
42
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:42,968
Is there some reason
we shouldn't meet this bozo?
43
00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:46,271
He is not a bozo.
44
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:47,506
[doorbell dings]
45
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,842
Send in the clown.
46
00:01:49,844 --> 00:01:52,778
Listen, I'll introduce
Eddie another time.
47
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:55,781
Or you could bring him
in right now.
48
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:58,650
Or I could bring him
in right now.
49
00:02:04,859 --> 00:02:06,825
Mom, dad..
50
00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:09,661
...this is Eddie.
51
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:12,764
Hello, how are you?
52
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:14,967
[ALF hums circus music]
53
00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:21,206
[theme music]
54
00:02:50,638 --> 00:02:53,839
[music continues]
55
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:23,001
[instrumental music]
56
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:25,737
Well, it's nice to meet you too.
57
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,673
This is some great house.
58
00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:29,675
Good bones.
59
00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,277
Bones?
60
00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:35,781
Eddie was a graduate student
in architecture.
61
00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:39,051
Oh, what year was that?
62
00:03:39,053 --> 00:03:42,421
Let's see, that was just before
I started teaching.
63
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:45,490
Eddie taught history
for a while.
64
00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:47,926
And lived a good deal of it,
I believe.
65
00:03:50,164 --> 00:03:52,264
Where did you meet, um..
66
00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:54,233
- Lynn.
- Lynn.
67
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:58,003
I autographed a book for her
at the mall.
68
00:03:58,005 --> 00:03:59,972
[chuckles]
Oh, you're a writer.
69
00:03:59,974 --> 00:04:02,774
No, actually, I'm what they call
a substitute novelist.
70
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:05,077
What I do is this,
I sign books for authors
71
00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:07,212
when they're too busy,
shall I show you?
72
00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:09,081
By all means.
73
00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:17,990
"Good luck, Lee Iacoca."
74
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:23,262
I believe there's
another C
75
00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:25,697
in Iacocca.
76
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:30,202
Yes, well, usually I have
the name right in front of me.
77
00:04:30,204 --> 00:04:33,138
Speaking of names, Eddie,
I didn't catch your last one.
78
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:36,141
- He doesn't have one.
- Really?
79
00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:39,011
Well, I used to have one,
of course.
80
00:04:39,013 --> 00:04:42,614
- That's a relief.
- I dropped it a while back.
81
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:45,817
I couldn't see
what purpose it served.
82
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,287
Did you discuss this decision
with your mailman?
83
00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:51,790
[Eddie laughing]
Mailman.
84
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,259
I love a guy
with a sense of humor.
85
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,896
Would anyone like a soda?
86
00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:00,832
Absolutely. Diet, caffeine-free.
Thank you so much.
87
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,635
Lynn, would you help me, please?
88
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,971
Help you get one soda?
89
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:09,441
Fine. Excuse me.
90
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:19,151
Well, that's quite a girl
you've got there.
91
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:22,054
We always thought so.
92
00:05:22,056 --> 00:05:24,756
Ever since the day she was born.
93
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:27,459
Barely 18 years ago.
94
00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:32,731
Let me get right to the point.
95
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:34,800
He's too old for you.
96
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:37,369
- I knew you'd overreact--
- I am not..
97
00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:39,037
[clears throat]
98
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:41,807
I am not overreacting.
99
00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:44,376
Let me take a look at this dude.
100
00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:47,979
Yikes!
101
00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:50,449
He's almost as old as Kate!
102
00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:53,251
Thanks a lot, ALF.
103
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:59,091
You may have a moment of privacy
to tell Mr. Iacocca
104
00:05:59,093 --> 00:06:01,293
you won't be seeing him again.
105
00:06:01,295 --> 00:06:04,496
Unless it's for senior's night
at the Sizzler.
106
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,966
[instrumental music]
107
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:11,803
Mom, can I borrow
your black shoulder bag?
108
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,205
Hmm. It's in my closet.
109
00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:15,440
- Thanks.
- Oh, sure.
110
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:17,776
It's okay for her to borrow it.
111
00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:22,914
She seems to have gotten over
that Eddie guy pretty quickly.
112
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:24,449
You know how girls are
at this age.
113
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:27,219
Now, she's really attached
to this new boy Randy.
114
00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:30,922
- Not that he's not nice.
- He's a moron.
115
00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:33,692
He's not a moron.
116
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:36,094
He's got no neck.
117
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:38,163
The fact that he's muscular
118
00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:39,931
doesn't mean he's stupid.
119
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:44,736
No, the fact that he's a cretin
means he's stupid.
120
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:48,807
Although he did manage
to find the doorbell.
121
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:51,243
(Lynn)
'Dad, will you let Randy in?'
122
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:54,579
And hurry up before
he forgets why he's here.
123
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,651
- Oh, hi, Randy.
- Hey.
124
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:01,553
Come on in,
Lynn will be right out.
125
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:03,088
Okay.
126
00:07:08,429 --> 00:07:10,362
I meant way in, Randy.
127
00:07:10,364 --> 00:07:13,532
Way, way over here.
Over to the couch.
128
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:15,066
Okay.
129
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,909
So, uh, how are things going
with the, uh, football team?
130
00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,411
Okay.
131
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:30,449
Uh, what position
do you play again?
132
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:32,984
Center.
133
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:34,853
[chuckles]
Well, that's where the action is
134
00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:37,155
right-right in the middle.
135
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:40,292
Uh-huh.
136
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,933
Would you like some peanuts?
137
00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:52,404
Hi, Randy, how are you?
138
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,873
Okay.
139
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:58,310
What were you guys
talking about?
140
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,279
Oh, just guy stuff.
141
00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:04,649
So where are you kids
going tonight?
142
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:08,053
We're going
to Kathy Berry's house
143
00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:11,156
and, uh, we're late,
so, shall we?
144
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,158
What?
145
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,294
- Leave.
- Okay.
146
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:20,699
[chuckles]
Don't be too late, honey.
147
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:23,068
I won't. Night.
148
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:28,139
He is a moron.
149
00:08:30,444 --> 00:08:32,444
Peanuts!
150
00:08:32,446 --> 00:08:34,212
Would you like some?
151
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,114
[imitating Randy]
Okay.
152
00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:40,018
(man on TV)
'And now back to our
creature feature'
153
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,387
'"Aliens,"
starring Sigourney Weaver.'
154
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:45,390
[intense music]
155
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:50,061
No! Don't go back
for that stupid cat.
156
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,430
This is no time for a snack.
157
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,267
[car door closes]
158
00:08:56,470 --> 00:08:59,070
Thanks, I had fun
watching you work.
159
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,939
You must get writer's cramp.
160
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:03,575
You know, I had no idea
that Donald Trump's book
161
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,443
was quite so popular.
162
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:08,079
(Lynn)
'Well, goodnight.'
163
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,415
I-I really had a nice time.
164
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:15,020
Until tomorrow.
165
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:21,693
Goodnight.
166
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,272
[gasps]
ALF, you scared me.
167
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,341
[chuckles]
What're you doing?
168
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:39,077
What am I doing?
What're you doing?
169
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,313
What happened to Randy?
170
00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:43,448
That wasn't Randy, that was..
171
00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:46,384
...someone else.
172
00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:48,853
Yeah, someone who
looks like a certain
173
00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:51,189
aging substitute novelist
174
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:54,426
who shall remain last-nameless.
175
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:59,431
Okay, so it was Eddie.
176
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,533
He just happened
to be at the party, see--
177
00:10:01,535 --> 00:10:05,036
Yeah, yeah, and I just
fell off the garbanzo truck.
178
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,839
Come on. This is the old ALFer.
179
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,608
What gives?
180
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:12,944
Okay. Okay.
181
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:15,246
I haven't really been
dating Randy.
182
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:18,283
I've only been tutoring him for
an hour in English each night
183
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,552
and then going to meet Eddie.
184
00:10:20,554 --> 00:10:22,454
An hour a night?
185
00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:24,289
That's barely
enough time for Randy
186
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:27,792
to turn his book right side up.
187
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:31,029
ALF, please, don't tell mom
and dad about this yet, okay?
188
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,263
I know they'll like Eddie.
189
00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:35,166
They just need
some time to adjust.
190
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:38,136
Don't tell them?
191
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,338
- You want me to lie?
- No!
192
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,307
No, you don't have to lie.
193
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,576
Just don't bring it up.
194
00:10:44,578 --> 00:10:46,344
That's not lying.
195
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:49,180
Egad. What a loophole.
196
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,550
It's not like
I'm never gonna tell them.
197
00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:55,887
I just.. I need to wait
for the right moment.
198
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:58,723
You know, like, when they're
in a really, really good mood.
199
00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:01,092
Yeah, well, let me know
when that happens
200
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,228
and I'll tell 'em
about the untimely demise
201
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:06,264
of Kate's porcelain ballerina.
202
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:09,300
You broke
mom's porcelain ballerina?
203
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:10,969
Yeah.
204
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,637
We were dancing the pas de deux
205
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:13,938
from "Swan Lake"
206
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:16,474
and I dropped her in the toilet.
207
00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:25,450
[instrumental music]
208
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:31,289
It's 9:05,
past somebody's bedtime.
209
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,391
Oh, no fair!
210
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:36,594
I wanted to watch
"Curse of the Moon People."
211
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:39,964
I was talking to Brian.
212
00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:42,167
I knew that. Hit the hay, Bri.
213
00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:44,302
Goodnight, B.
214
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,204
I'll come tuck you
in a few minutes, honey.
215
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:49,340
Mom, I'm old enough
to tuck myself in.
216
00:11:50,777 --> 00:11:52,143
Oh.
217
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:54,045
Oh, I understand.
218
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:56,815
But you can still
read me a story.
219
00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:59,117
Okay.
220
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:05,490
Gee, they grow up so fast.
221
00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:08,460
Pretty soon he's not gonna
need us for anything.
222
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:12,163
I'll always need you guys.
223
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,400
We know.
224
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,368
[doorbell dings]
225
00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:19,671
[together]
ALF, hide in the kitchen.
226
00:12:19,673 --> 00:12:21,206
Oh.
227
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,580
- Oh, hello, Randy.
- Hey.
228
00:12:29,483 --> 00:12:32,517
- Where's Lynn?
- Huh?
229
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:36,755
Our daughter. Lynn!
230
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,456
Isn't she with you?
231
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,228
No.
232
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:47,332
She said she was going
over to your house.
233
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,301
Oh. Okay.
234
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,473
What's going on?
235
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:57,108
[sighs]
I-I don't know.
236
00:12:57,110 --> 00:13:00,078
Yo-you think there could've
been a mix-up between them?
237
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,312
Well, honey,
if it was just a mix-up
238
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:04,349
she'd be home by now
or call at least.
239
00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:05,650
Well, what do you think?
240
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:07,385
You think I should
go look for her?
241
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:08,620
(Kate)
'Oh, honey,
where would you look?'
242
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:11,623
Who knows where
she could've gone?
243
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,625
Yeah, you know,
it's not like Lynn
244
00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:16,027
to change her plans
and not call us.
245
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:17,695
- Yeah.
- Wait a minute.
246
00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:21,699
You're getting carried away.
Lynn's just fine.
247
00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:23,268
How do you know?
248
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:25,770
Well...well, she's, uh..
249
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:28,039
Um, well,
I don't, I don't know for sure.
250
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:30,141
ALF?
251
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:33,278
I don't suppose you could
just trust me on this one?
252
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,948
I didn't think so.
253
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:40,385
Come on, ALF, where is she?
254
00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:43,354
I can't tell you.
I said I wouldn't tell you.
255
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:47,292
- Tell us what?
- That Lynn's seeing Eddie.
256
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,529
Eddie?
257
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:55,800
You tricked me.
258
00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:58,136
She's been lying to us.
259
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:01,906
Not exactly.
It's a loophole.
260
00:14:01,908 --> 00:14:04,943
I can't believe that Lynn
would do something like this.
261
00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,477
Well, look at the bright side.
262
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:09,314
At least she's dating
a guy with a neck.
263
00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:14,619
- Hi, everyone.
- You're grounded, lady!
264
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:17,355
- What for?
- Eddie.
265
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:24,195
You know, it was
the funniest thing--
266
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,864
Please!
267
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:33,404
Thank you...for ratting on me.
268
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:38,676
Thank you...for ruining
my entire life.
269
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:44,449
Thank you very, very much.
270
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,718
Ugh!
271
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:55,093
There goes a polite young lady.
272
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,562
[instrumental music]
273
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,999
[instrumental music]
274
00:15:05,639 --> 00:15:09,507
Miss Lynn Tanner.
Paging Miss Lynn Tanner.
275
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:12,377
Go away.
276
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:15,346
I've just gotta
get a message to ya.
277
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:18,349
I don't want
any messages from you.
278
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:21,819
It's not from me.
I'm just the bellhop.
279
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:29,694
It's from a friend of yours.
280
00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:31,963
"It's not what you think.
281
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:33,831
"I'm really not a fink.
282
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:36,200
"You're the last person
I'd hurt.
283
00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:38,937
"I didn't mean to blurt..
284
00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:40,805
...it out."
285
00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:45,276
I've got a message
for my so-called friend.
286
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,845
Friends don't rat on friends!
287
00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:53,551
Guess this means no tip.
288
00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:00,658
[strumming guitar]
289
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,796
Close enough.
290
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:07,165
¶ I'm under your window ¶
291
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:08,800
¶ With my guitar ¶
292
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:12,470
¶ Singing you this small ditty ¶
293
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,573
¶ Please don't be mad
at me anymore ¶
294
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:20,011
¶ Have I mentioned
I think you're pretty ¶
295
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:23,181
¶ Aye aye aye aye ¶
296
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:25,917
¶ I'm really sorry ¶
297
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:31,255
¶ Somebody just threw
a blanket on me ¶
298
00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:34,625
¶ That's why I'm suffocating ¶¶
299
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:38,629
[instrumental music]
300
00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:42,400
I take it
there's been no detente.
301
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:44,736
No detente.
No glasnost.
302
00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:48,106
No perestroika.
No nothin'.
303
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:52,143
Stop torturing yourself, ALF,
she'll come around.
304
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:54,345
What did I do that was so wrong?
305
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,414
You didn't do anything wrong.
306
00:16:56,416 --> 00:17:00,051
Which is something
I never thought I would say.
307
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:02,920
But it was Lynn who lied.
308
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:04,722
You know, Willie,
Lynn's little subterfuge
309
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,824
wasn't all that terrible.
310
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:08,393
I was dating Willie
for six months
311
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:10,928
before I told
my parents about it.
312
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:12,363
How come?
313
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,731
Oh, Willie didn't have any money
314
00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:16,501
and he didn't have a job, and..
315
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:19,103
...he was already
dating my sister.
316
00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:20,905
[telephone ringing]
317
00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:24,375
- I'll get it.
- He dated your sister?
318
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,144
Hello?
319
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,012
The hideous one?
320
00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:33,985
I'm-I'm afraid there's been
a little misunderstanding.
321
00:17:33,987 --> 00:17:37,321
Would you please
cancel that order?
322
00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:39,390
Thank you so much.
323
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,092
Goodbye.
324
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:50,401
Bill Bri's Jewelry Store.
325
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:53,271
You really dated Kate's sister?
326
00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:56,574
Apparently somebody placed
an order in our name.
327
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,276
The hideous one?
328
00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:00,078
Must've been a little mix-up.
329
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,513
Funny how two children
from the same parents--
330
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:06,117
A $15,000 diamond bracelet!
331
00:18:08,154 --> 00:18:10,221
I ordered it for Lynn.
332
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:12,757
Nothing else was working.
333
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:16,094
Alright, that settles it.
334
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:17,829
Lynn!
335
00:18:17,831 --> 00:18:21,766
We're gonna straighten
this thing out once and for all!
336
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:25,169
Alright, but I want to get back
to this sister thing.
337
00:18:28,675 --> 00:18:31,542
Yes, father? Hello, mother.
338
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:33,077
Lynn..
339
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,149
...I want you to speak to ALF.
340
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:40,651
Civilly, please.
341
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:42,920
- ALF who?
- Speak to him!
342
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:46,224
Or have your
telephone privileges taken away.
343
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:49,560
You want me to speak to him?
Fine, I'll speak to him.
344
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:54,398
Have you told mom yet
that you broke her ballerina?
345
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,601
[gasps]
346
00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:00,037
My ballerina?
347
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:03,541
You..
348
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,743
You squealer!
349
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:07,745
My porcelain ballerina?
350
00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:10,748
That was supposed
to be a secret.
351
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:13,351
My wedding present
porcelain ballerina?
352
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:15,620
Well, you told my secret first.
353
00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:17,722
But that just slipped out.
354
00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:20,825
My original, one of a kind
355
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:24,996
impossible to duplicate
porcelain ballerina?
356
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:27,398
Do you know how silly
the word ballerina sounds
357
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,766
when you say it over and over?
358
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:31,802
Ballerina,
ballerina, ballerina.
359
00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:35,006
Alright, everyone,
stop, cease, desist.
360
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:38,042
I want you to apologize
to each other
361
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:41,179
and I want you to put
all of this behind us.
362
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:47,485
Fine. Lynn, go to your room.
You, go to the garage.
363
00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:49,020
Fine.
364
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:54,926
Kate, I'm sorry I broke
your wedding present.
365
00:19:54,928 --> 00:19:59,063
- I was going to tell you.
- Really? When?
366
00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:02,099
I was waiting to see
if the marriage would last.
367
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:06,904
[instrumental music]
368
00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:13,744
Don't just barge in here. Knock
when you come into my room.
369
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:16,314
ALF's leaving because of you!
370
00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:19,417
What are you talking about?
371
00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:20,918
He can't leave.
372
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,688
He's fixing his spaceship
right now.
373
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:25,790
Don't be such a baby.
374
00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:27,959
He's always saying
he can't fix that ship.
375
00:20:27,961 --> 00:20:30,895
You're the baby!
You won't even talk to him!
376
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:33,364
Why don't you grow up?
377
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,400
Brian, wait.
378
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:38,402
Don't cry.
379
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:42,073
[crackling]
380
00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:54,318
[clears throat]
381
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:57,588
- What're you doin'?
- Nothing much.
382
00:20:57,590 --> 00:21:00,691
Just some delicate,
precision spot-welding.
383
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,528
[sniffs]
384
00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:06,497
What's that smell?
385
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,666
Burnt fur.
386
00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:13,337
Brian says you're leaving.
387
00:21:13,339 --> 00:21:15,673
Yep, just as soon as I calibrate
388
00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:18,242
the gyroscopic guidance system.
389
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:24,248
Done.
390
00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:27,385
Well, just because
we're not getting along
391
00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:29,387
doesn't mean you have to leave.
392
00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:33,758
- That so?
- Of course not.
393
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:37,161
I mean, everybody else
wants you to stay.
394
00:21:37,764 --> 00:21:40,464
What about you?
395
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:43,267
I don't mind if you stay.
396
00:21:43,269 --> 00:21:46,003
Well, I can't stay
with you mad at me.
397
00:21:46,005 --> 00:21:48,406
- So I'm going.
- But, ALF--
398
00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:49,807
And don't worry about me!
399
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:52,410
You'll forget about me
soon enough.
400
00:21:52,412 --> 00:21:55,346
Oh, ALF, please don't say that.
401
00:21:55,348 --> 00:21:57,381
I don't want you to go.
402
00:21:57,383 --> 00:22:01,285
- Do you mean it?
- Of course I mean it.
403
00:22:01,287 --> 00:22:03,754
I'm sorry, I told mom
about the ballerina
404
00:22:03,756 --> 00:22:06,390
but I was just so mad at you!
405
00:22:06,392 --> 00:22:08,659
Will you forgive me?
406
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:11,729
You were mad
and I was irresponsible.
407
00:22:11,731 --> 00:22:13,798
- I'd say we're even.
- No.
408
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,000
I was the irresponsible one.
409
00:22:16,002 --> 00:22:18,369
Alright, so you owe me.
410
00:22:19,238 --> 00:22:22,306
- Are we friends again?
- Yeah.
411
00:22:22,308 --> 00:22:24,442
I guess I can stop
working on this.
412
00:22:24,444 --> 00:22:27,345
Oh, you couldn't fix that thing
anyway, could you?
413
00:22:27,347 --> 00:22:29,313
Maybe.
414
00:22:29,315 --> 00:22:31,382
That's a lie, isn't it?
415
00:22:31,384 --> 00:22:33,184
It's a loophole.
416
00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:42,460
[instrumental music]
417
00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:49,066
This glue is empty.
418
00:22:49,068 --> 00:22:52,536
I vaguely recall using it
as a yogurt topping.
419
00:22:54,140 --> 00:22:56,907
- How's the ballerina coming?
- Needs glue.
420
00:22:58,544 --> 00:23:01,846
Oh, ALF, did you order this?
421
00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:04,949
"Breakfast at Tiffany's."
422
00:23:04,951 --> 00:23:07,885
Sounds like something I'd order.
423
00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:09,987
Oh, look, it's inscribed!
424
00:23:09,989 --> 00:23:12,723
"Dear Willie and Kate
425
00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:15,326
"sorry if I caused you
any trouble.
426
00:23:15,328 --> 00:23:17,027
"I wouldn't have dated
your daughter
427
00:23:17,029 --> 00:23:18,462
"if I'd known
you didn't approve.
428
00:23:18,464 --> 00:23:21,031
"Please accept this
as a token of my friendship.
429
00:23:21,033 --> 00:23:23,801
Signed, Truman Capote."
430
00:23:26,038 --> 00:23:29,240
[instrumental music]
431
00:23:31,711 --> 00:23:34,912
[theme continues]
432
00:23:59,539 --> 00:24:01,539
[ALF laughing]